Is it fair? Am I getting what I paid for?
The image of scales shown above is the way shopkeepers once determined the weight of what was being sold. If the standard weight was on one side, then when a balance was achieved, the products on the other were the same weight. We still use the imagery in many ways today, even though electronic scales are more accurate.
The scales have also been used to understand spiritual practice, as humans have a tendency to weigh up on one side what we value, and on the other what we are delivering. This is the interpretation of experience by comparison.
Suffering is almost always our interpretation of experience, when we weigh up with our egoic self the issue of ‘is it fair‘ or more likely ‘do I deserve this pain?” Interpretation becomes accusation when we try to find blame for hurt, or arrogance when we define reward for success. The balancing scale then becomes “because“.
Here are some examples:
- I am unlovable, because my parents did not tell me I am, or worse still because they inferred or told me I was a failure.
- I am unworthy because I make mistakes and told that means I deserve punishment or rejection.
- I am stupid, or without meaning because I compare myself to others, or cannot see my own intense beauty of soul and spirit, or unique potential and gifts.
- I am a fraud, because I conclude that my successes are not due to me, or my loved ones do not value them.
- My body or mind is sick because I deserve punishment, or I have succumbed to addiction or depression.
We can be suspicious of any external ‘telling’ about how you should live or judge ourselves. This is especially true when it is based on a because of opinions, external or internally negative.
Wisdom is the characteristic of having choice and applying it in the context of our heart wisdom. This requires being open to assessing moral or ethical positions, considering both sides. Without there being an alternative, there is no choice. Without the consideration of the higher self, there is no wisdom.
Inner wisdom, your spirit’s silent teacher, (Sometimes called heart or conscience) will lead you far more accurately on the journey to wisdom that any head/mind teaching. This does not diminish knowledge or the need to learn, it just means that both need to be considered, and to accept the reality that research now shows that most decisions are made at the heart level. Would you really weigh up and form a partnership with someone based on a list of attributes alone?
Good balancing requires both heart and mind to be put onto the same side of the scale, but recognizing that the weight will primarily be from the heart, the soul, not just be limited by our conscious processing.
Placing all the alternatives on the altar of silence is the wise act that connects us to the one-ness that is the origin of each of the stories of all life. This requires allowing the monkey chatter of the “This is right, and that is wrong” to be silenced in order to listen with the heart. Our brains have an amazing capability for self-justification. People don’t in general decide to enact genocide because they think they are wrong, it is because their mind justifies that they are right. Allowing the heart to dominate is always the first step to peace. That is what the golden rule is about.
Ken Wilbur, philosopher and writer, wrote about ‘spiral dynamics‘. This concept is that as we connect to our heart in making a decision, we can evolve to higher states of love and consciousness. Recent research has shown that the upward spiral, once each step is made with heart, is sustainable:
The longitudinal study was done about the touchy subject of abortion, though it could be about any issue of life and heart importance.
Three positions were considered by the people in the study:
- Abortion is always wrong because of the sacredness of life.
- Abortion is acceptable because of the potential harm to the mother or fetus.
- Abortion is a difficult issue that requires individual consideration and should be generalized, but considered with the heart.
Individuals initially were interviewed for their opening position, one two or three. As the study progressed, the participants were exposed to actual situations, and asked to consider their position in each individual case, rather than being stubborn about their a head-based initial stance.
As their hearts became involved in the actual situations an interesting thing happened. The more they were exposed to experience and compassion for actual situations, in all cases there was a migration of the moral position towards the third choice, that the individual situation needed to be considered. This is what spiral dynamics hypothesized.
Our soul has an inbuilt compassion if we exercise it with immersion into the complex pain of reality. This takes us out of the space of right/wrong, and towards the complexity of life. Love, the universal principle of humanity, always looks through the eyes of compassion, not judgment and/or punishment. When we consider ourselves, we always will hope to recieve compassion, not judgment or punishment, and this position is reflected in all the teachings of the major religious founders, Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, Lao Tze etc.
Jesus said “I have come that you might have life, and have it more abundantly” and he also said “judge not, and you will not be judged”
So why is our humanity subject to the corrosion of opinions almost everyone would agree are damaging?
There is a mythical dragon that we each have to fight, according to many traditions, and this dragon will be explained in the next step in this series.
Law has its place in the order of society, but if it is held above Love and grace, then the scales of Law turn into the scales of the Dragon.
LISN emphasizes inter-spiritual wisdom, love and the Golden Rule.
LISN_circles are the encouraged vehicle in which we can listen to the stories of others safely, without judgment, opinion or advice. (NOTE that there is no commenting or forums for LISN_circles)
At the recent Illuman MROP one of the speakers said “Help is the happy face of control”, yet we typically continue to deny the wisdom of each human to connect with their higher power and wisdom.
congregation. However the death of both her mother and her daughter led her to look for a different level of connection to what she gained from her weekend religious activities. Through LISN membership Annabel found inspiration from others who have had similar losses, and who were nearby.
Ethelia is lonely, new to her new village, and with specific spiritual interests which could be called ‘mystic’. Her country does not permit views contrary to the national religion. Ethelia longs for people to explore questions and inspiration with, and finds LISN.
anyone else knowing what they are. He likes that.
He joined LISN and then discovered he can also upload his entire cohort of parishioners as users, so that they are part of the membership of LISN, but specifically assigned to his care group.
He had recently found a number of small groups existed that he did not know about. His attempts to get people to let him know had not worked, probably because things were constantly changing and there was no online method for people to update their own connections.
She looked online and found lots of offerings but no indication if they would match what she was looking for. By registering and defining membership with LISN she was able to define her own spiritual expectations in a fun way, and in doing so the list of local Spiritual Directors was somehow narrowed down to those who matched her needs and style. She loved not having to research a whole lot of options and found it easy to choose one that works well with her spirit.
becomes:
LISN also has mapping and organizational support for small groups, circles, councils. LISN can link a person to spiritual circles or groups who are local or in a vicinity of interest.
The content of LISN is kept in pages of information, which are categorized according to content. You can find such pages filtered by category, by selecting the LISN category from the side bar drop-down list. You can find Interactive Question Surveys (IQS) is a category.
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