Effective Change

Part 5 of 11 in the series Types of Bliss

Have you done the IQS about the types of bliss?

Most people who have done this, find that there are gaps between where they are and what they want in life.

How do we effect change to achieve what we want?

Here are some good questions to ask yourself:

  • Remember these points by the acronym CRMPS:
  • Clarity about why, Realistic, Practical, Measurable, Specific

If the answers to the above are positive and life-giving intutitively, what is the first step I can take? The following useful diagram from LISN member Dave MacQuarrie illustrates the alternative cycles of positive change or negative avoidance.

The basis of effective change requires some consideration of what is the life behind the change, and people who set goals (change outcomes) are usually more effective in life than people who do not. The likelihood of you effecting change in your life is higher if you set a goal for yourself.

The trouble is, most of the things we want to change are metaphysical, to increase love towards us, to reduce pain and suffering. Here is a useful story about effecting change in your stress levels:

Once upon a time a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.

She replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”

As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, “Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”

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Wanting Freedom | Basis of bliss