If Love is a verb, something we do, then it requires a recipient. That may be ourselves, or an ‘other’.
Always this holds true. To experience love, given or accepted, requires relationship.
Relationships are complex, interactions that hold the essence of humanity.
These range from partnerships of two people, to families, close social groups, marginal associations and even remote awareness which forms the basis of identity.
In this series the nature and complexities of relationship are explored.
The first page in the series introduces partner relationship, the person with whom you want or have an individual special relationship with. This is typically a deep and/or intimate connection, usually the main sexual relationship.
As a natural outcome of the common experience of projection of your own desires onto a partner, the relationship with your own spirit is explored. The inner acceptance and respect of your own spirit is a prerequisite to accepting someone else.
The following pages are all various themes based on these two foundations of relationship, with yourself, and with an ‘other’.
Let’s start off with what may seem simple, but is not.
The definition of ‘relationship’.
How we interact with others can vary. The way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other can be quite different to the state of being connected by blood or marriage. Do you suddenly change into another person when you are with your family or at work?
We desire to be consistent in our view of our self, though we observe the different reactions we have to different people and circumstances.
Understanding other people always requires a level of self understanding, especially if we are to apply the Golden Rule. How can we have a relationship with anyone “loving them as your self” where there is no love or understanding inside?
Also there is a major factor that is often not talked about. Our own relationship with our self often involves sub-personalities or inner conflicts that may not look good to other people. Do you find yourself talking to yourself, or more likely arguing with yourself? You are not alone, most people experience that.
Dr Dave MacQuarrie uses the analogy of the Captain (conscious) of a sailing ship, who sets a noble destination for the vessel, but has to deal with a wide range of crew members (Xconscious points of view) that all have different motives. Some of the crew will be reliable and assist in the journey, others will be against going, and express why, while some may be mutinous! Before we look too deeply into our expectations of others, it is really helpful to understand our inner crew! The Captain will be more confident of getting to the destination of bliss and happiness if the crew are understood, even if they don’t all agree.
A great deal of evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship begins in infancy, in a child’s earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant’s needs for food, care, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Those relationships are not destiny, but they appear to establish patterns of relating to others. So when you are looking at relationships, you are often mirroring what you desire or see in yourself on the basis of these early patterns or programs embedded in your Xconscious.