Spiritual Love Making

Part 3 of 6 in the series Relationships

“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.”
Mary Oliver
Sexual energy between two people is a form of emotional intimacy, an instinctive desire to bond to a lover, to feel comfort, to be known.
This makes the difference between pure physical sex and lovemaking. Emotional intimacy comes from affection, from sharing feelings, from being vulnerable. By caring, you reinforce each other’s attractiveness and make each other feel special. As friends and lovers, you are fundamentally there for each other which creates trust. You see each other as real people, the good and the bad, not some idealized version. When conflict, anger, or hurt feelings arise you’re committed to working through them. Bring your fears and insecurities to a partner in an undefended way.
You never use it to hurt, manipulate, make conquests, or get addicted to the ego trip of sensual pleasure at the expense of others. This is bad karma. Nor do you allow others to harm or disrespect you. Sexual energy is not just who you are in bed, though that’s an aspect of it. You also make electric linkages to your body, to spirit, to a lover, to the universe.
Through spiritual practice both women and men can learn to integrate their sexual energy to even higher levels.
To enhance spiritual life it is good to embrace and respect your sexuality, as the act of lovemaking can truly be something sacred and profound. Any type of ecstatic experience – like sex – is an ideal starting point to begin cultivating spiritual moments of “no-mind” and bringing them naturally into our daily lives. It is useful to integrate our spiritual lives with our sexual lives and enjoy a loving communion with not only our partners, but with existence itself. Ego  wants you to be at its every beck and call. It becomes very threatened if you surrender into the flow of sexual energy. Listening to your mind’s negative messages is not going to create the bliss that can be experienced when you let go into the formless.
Sexuality can be a vehicle into spirituality rather than an obstacle to it. One way to express your desire to be reunited with God is by merging with another person through sharing your sexuality. The more deeply you feel the longing to return Home, the more deeply you may want to free your sexual nature. ”Enlightenment is in the vagina”, is one of the authenticated sayings of the Buddha. Often superficial motivations are behind sexual desire, but once these are turned into deep awareness of the other (partner) the experience within your soul far surpasses any merely hormonal satisfaction.
In spiritually aware romance, rather than attempting to make the Other fit their preexisting fantasies, the lovers enjoy exploring the mysterious nature of the Other in the here and now. The only relationship the lovers presume is the one they have earned through their conversation in the present moment.
Imagine a relationship where there is no potential relationship result such as monogamy, polygamy, cohabitation, marriage, children, economic or professional advancement. Such a relationship is challenging, because it brings a focus on the presence of the partner, rather than the outcome or benefit. It is possible to ignore, for example, the intention/outcome for personal orgasm, in order to concentrate on the needs of the partner you love.
Soulful romance is a dance. As in the unfolding of any sacred mystery, there is no telling what might happen during the dance, but if it is a movement of authenticity and integrity whatever happens will benefit both parties.
Loving the otherness of the partner is where one enters the mystery of relationship;  not you plus me, but we; more than ourselves together.
“In soulcentric romance there is an essential relatlonship between our sexual nature and nature in general. The Wanderer explores how the full expression of her sexuality – her full-bodied, uninhibited, healthy sexuality, experienced either alone or with a partner, deepens her membership in the natural world. The more she surrenders to the wild, passionate currents flowing through the world and allows them to move through her, the more the ego, imposed barriers between her and the rest of creation dissolve. Through her sexuality, she comes to experience herself as a force of nature as well as some, thing acted on by nature.
In addition to arousal, coitus, and orgasm, sexual desire can guide us to something more: soul. Our sexual nature is the human expression of nature’s inherent desire to make ensouled life. If sexuality is understood as that electric longing to physically, emotionally, and spiritually merge with an Other and, through that union, to create something new, then our sexual desire is an agent of soul, which desires to embody in the world a never-before-seen treasure. .
Our sexuality, when fully honored, stirs our most creative juices and urges us to cross into the mysteries of nature and psyche. The aroused heart of the lover has inspired many of the most Visionary and artistic achievements of humanity. And our sexual desire can nudge us toward unions that further our soul’s journey, even when those unions undermine our social or economic standing. When approached soulfully, we ask of our romantic partnerships; How does this relationship provide an opportunity to embody my souls gift in the world?
When surrendered to, the sexual current carries us beyond the limitations of our everyday ego’s View of our selves, our partner, and the world, opening our awareness to the very core of our beings and making possible a soul-to-soul communion; Sexual ecstasy can transport us into union with the sacred Other, whether soul, God, human beloved, or nature. Uninhibited sexual opening powerfully alters consciousness. We are released from the commonplace and pulled down toward soul and the heart of the earth enhancing our capacity to live our deepest truths.
Our soul’s passions are precisely what the earth wants us to embody in the world. And our sexuality, experienced fully, propels those passions as an inherent part of greater nature. In his novels, poems, and essays, D. H Lawrence explored the sex-nature relationship. He showed how surrender to our deepest sexual nature opens out awareness to the greater Whole of nature. Our sexuality is one current in the great streaming of nature. Surrendering to either the streaming of nature or our sexuality lands us in the middle of the other. A soulcentric approach to romance reveres sex as a celebration of the nature both within us and without. The deep ecologist Dolores LaChapelle, in her study of Lawrence’s work, concludes that a healthy culture “preserve[s] the sacredness and unity of sex Within the whole of nature.”
Bill Plotkin – Soulcraft
As you let go into sexual union with the intention to become one with your lover, you dance between your Higher self and your respected animal body. Sexual arousal can be controlled until your heart is in agreement with your genitals.
What makes something sacred is  its connectedness to our Higher Self, to something bigger than our individuality. Our sexuality lS embedded in relationships which are both soulful and divine. Our genitals reside in the part of the body we call the sacrum. Sex is sacred and natural.
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