The emotional dust was settling,
the perspective adjusting,
the lies retreating,
I had just watched me being crazy,
captive, crushed, ground and collapsed…
turning to familiar places fatal.
The nemesis out of her nest,
shaking the shame finger at me,
removing splinters with an ice pick.
Stirring, stalking, streaming
the oh so familiar exposure,
the core wound
at the heart of being me,
never completely gone,
The pozer exposed…at last!
“Thus sayeth the raven – nevermore.”
Watching me now watching me,
Emptying the vessel of hope,
fingernails clawing but unable to stop the slide into hopelessness and pity.
Just wishing the bottom close.
When will I die?
Oh great illusion of my separation.
Sin of sins the KING.
Fasting, aching, silent retreat,
pushing, running feeling defeat.
Let the monster arrive,
fully dressed in pride.
Made up and stark,
so powerful and dark.
I meet Kelsey in this place,
so low, so heavy, so radically oppressed.
I can’t escape,
but look I must
for freedom from this dire thrust
to places free from devil dust, lust and load and locked.
Death, the only option seemed so clear.
I’ll get there now
My friend will welcome me when life is done
with nothing holding my head down.
The waters deep I can’t escape
now breath so free
once shackles loosed about my broken heart at last.
The pain is gone, I’m free again!!!
The channel spoke this piece so dark.
new light abides.
things wiped clean, complete release.
Process the pain in stillness now
don’t numb the centers in deceit.
Embrace the shame,
it’s here today.
My friend I love the dance we do
so often now
but less then when
I could never be for even a moment
now set free.
We’ll meet again I’m sure
but let the love we have for each other
be a light for others in this same dark place
where we can meet and share defeat.
From this will rise a new sung song
free from ideals strong
but strangle held in places wrong.
The thing I do
is let this be my friend
for bits of time
to mourn the loss of one so sweet
I cannot the depth of loss perceive
but rise now clean my vision clear
my child dear
………………….no longer here.
We visit now but once this year
and set it down for most the rest
to touch our hearts in love the best.
You’re always here with me my kid,
‘tis here that healing benefits
Connected in the now,
the present presence of heaven found.
Join me here.